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[underniman]

ᴛᴇxᴛs | ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛs | sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀs | ᴇᴛᴄ

Comments

[undersecan]

i'm sure there's a cop around here that could use something to do.
i'm gonna have to put you on hold, hang on.

[ ... yes he's aware this is text and not a call, just go with it. ]

[underniman]

oh okay i'll just pretend i'm listening to hold music

you lunatic

[undersecan]

[ five full minutes later... ]

the cops must actually be busy today but i got the secretary, had a nice chat
sorry, were you saying something about unboring you?

[underniman]

mmm. you tell me.

[ danger, will robinson. how does jackie make his voice suddenly an octave lower in text?? witch powers, probably. ]

[undersecan]

[ stop that, jackie, it's not remotely fair. ]

you know it's not remotely fair when you do that.

[underniman]

ohhhhhhhh

should i stop?

[ B) ]

[undersecan]

you should stop making that smug face i know you're making, yeah.
fuck your mmm's

1/2

[underniman]

anything for you, sugar.

[underniman]

on just one teeny lil condition.

[ go on, ask what it is :D ]

1/2

[undersecan]

[ sugar. ]

can i backtrack and ask for another mmm instead

[undersecan]

[ okay, no, he was sort of kidding. ]

what teeny lil condition?

[underniman]

a) no, that time is past


honeysuckle :3

b) tell me, and mean it from the very bottom of your heart, that whatever smug face i’m making right now

[ it’s the i’m pinning u to a wall with my eyes rn face ftr ]

isn’t turning you on, even the very littlest bit. not even a smidgen.

[undersecan]

[ honeysuckle. is there no end to this?

don't answer that, he already knows. ]

...
why are you trying to make a liar out of me?

[underniman]

well golly be, petunia petal

[ no. there is no end to this. at least not one in sight. ]

you could always tell the truth, wouldn't hurt you none.

[undersecan]

i don't know, i think it might hurt a little.

[underniman]

wimp

1/2

[undersecan]

your smug face turns me on. more than a smidgen.

[undersecan]

but also fuck you

1/2

[underniman]

[smugface.jpg]

[underniman]

😙

[undersecan]

kissy faces aren't winning you any points right now.

[underniman]

yeah yeah i know, you're v disgruntled and annoyed and its just so awful to be attracted to the boyf who is 100% willing to bang u at all times

life's hard 😞

1/2

[undersecan]

it's awful to be attracted to the boyf who is 100% willing to annoy me at all times.

[undersecan]

all the other stuff is okay.

[underniman]

tiniest violin